Why are Parents Obsessed with Youth Sports?
🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟
July Parenting Series on Youth Sports #3
I don’t really have an answer, but some speculative thoughts for your consideration.
I’m not judging—these are easy traps that we all fall into at times. However, just because it’s common, doesn’t mean it’s not harmful to our children. Use this as an opportunity to notice what might be going on with yourself in this arena.
So Why Are Parents Obsessed with Youth Sports?
* Because they can be…parents are invited and encouraged to be spectators in youth sports. Parents have less access inside a classroom, a piano lesson, an art class, or a theater practice. Parents literally make themselves nuts to attend as many games humanely as possible nowadays. Increasingly, parents have more flexible work schedules which allows them to be more involved.
* Child-centered focus in today's culture vs a more balanced family life. All is sacrificed on behalf of the children currently—time, finances, marriage, church, service, and a slower pace of life.
* Vicariously living through their children’s performance. For some reason, parents are “allowed” to brag about their children’s athletic performance. While we might think a parent is rude or insensitive to brag about their child’s academic performance, parents seem to feel entitled to boast and discuss freely their child’s strengths in athletics. There is parental narcissism involved—which sometimes includes over-posting, over-identifying, or taking credit for the child’s performance in some fashion. (“We have two soccer games and a flag football game today” vs. “Jane has two soccer games and Johnny has a flag football game today”).
* Scarcity phenomenon: the perception that there are not enough spaces in college anymore…and the fear that children won’t get into college if they don’t have a stacked extracurricular list…or that being a good athlete will help them get into a better school.
* Adultifying Childhood—children today have less space for meandering, play, and freedom around the neighborhood. Their lives are far more scheduled and life appears to feel more like a “grind” to them—more adult-like in general.
* Extension of Childhood- somehow Childhood = Sports nowadays. When organized sports reach a close, this signals adulthood begins at some level. Parents grieve this. Parents want to prolong childhood for various reasons. Some may like to avoid this sorrow by encouraging sports for longer than their child wants.
Ask Yourself:
Did my parents attend all of my games growing up? Was there an expectation for them to be present for everything?
How has child-centered parenting affected our family life? Do we over-focus on the kids? Is that even possible?
Do I over-identify with my child’s athletic performance? Why? Am I living vicariously through them? Could this be perceived as pressure by my child?
Do I encourage my kids to do activities because it will help “get them into” college? What is the downside to this? Am I fearful about them getting into college?
Am I realistic about my kids’ athletic capabilities? Are they truly in the outlier 7% who go on to play collegiate sports…or the 2% that go on to play in the pros? If not, should they be doing as much as they do? Did I actually play in college or the pros?
Do I run my kids around like they are little adults? Is it a grind for them? Did my own childhood feel like a grind?
Am I sad about my kids growing up? Am I clinging to activities that they may be growing out of?
Are we making ourselves nuts? Are we making the kids nuts? How would it feel to say No to something?
Should I be participating in my own athletic outlet? Should I get my own life and focus less on my children’s experiences?
Am I neglecting other parts of myself or my life by being overly involved in the time suck of youth sports? My own professional identity, my marriage, my own health, service to others?
What am I noticing about myself? Any small shifts that I would like to make?